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| Kinky Hair Don't Care! |
Chapter 2
Naturally Fabulous
So you’re examining your HairStory and you decide you want
to go natural, but you have some reservations.
Don’t worry you are not alone!
Most naturalistas have them at some point before they officially cross
over. I've heard everything, from ladies
who have feared their hair would never grow back to ladies who feared looking
like a long distance cousin of E.T. Okay,
so, those were my reservations! But,
nonetheless, I have encountered many ladies with similar fears holding them
back. My biggest tidbit of advice
is: It’s not your hair, baby girl, it’s
your attitude!
The ultimate issue we have as women is being afraid of looking
and feeling unattractive. We have been
taught by our ever so influential society that we have to uphold certain
standards and routines to be considered “Pretty.” As we discussed in the previous chapter, we
have a long history of being beaten in the head with these ideals. Frankly, I personally feel it’s all a bunch
of blah, blah, blibberish. When I
finally got the courage to do my BC, I no longer cared what other people thought
of my personal health and style choices.
If I did, I may be under a rock
hibernating with bears. I've been called
crazy, ugly, told my hair looks and feels like Brillo asked if I’m trying to
look black and told that I’m too light skinned too have such nappy hair, and that’s
just the tip of the iceberg. People say
words can never hurt, but they definitely do hurt and can tear you down to nothing,
whether they are expressed through malicious ignorance, jokes or with the
utmost sincerity, they hurt. I realized
early on that there are a lot of tactless, uneducated beings in this
world. So, I ignored the negativity and
embraced my journey and those who supported me. Not once have I had any regrets, felt ugly or
wanted to conform to be acceptable; and now that my hair is down my back those
same blibber blabberers are loving it, always wanting to touch my hair and know
my routine. Hmm….
The bottom line is, you will face adversity from people, be
it the men who say they prefer women with long, straight hair, family members
and friends who think you’re losing your mind, people in the work place who are
used to your creamy crack days and anyone else who just refuses to understand
the journey you’re embarking on. All you
have to do is put one hand up and say ‘WHATEVER.’ Maybe it’s TV or music that has them confused,
some of these rappers with their warped views on what a “Bad Chick” is supposed
to look like or the way women are portrayed in the videos. They do not define your beauty, YOU DO. Most importantly IT’S YOUR HAIR AND YOU CAN
DO AS YOU PLEASE WITH IT. Furthermore,
it’s hair, IT WILL GROW BACK…with proper maintenance, that is. Embrace your beauty, confidence beats
everything.
It may help to have a theme for your journey or maybe a
theme song. When I did my BC, initially there was no
theme, Kinky Duchess came about a few weeks later, but I definitely had a theme
song. My theme song was Pretty Girl
Rock by Keri Hilson, don’t laugh, it got me going everyday with my TWA. Her words “Don’t hate me ‘cuz I’m beautiful”
played over and over in my head. I
listened to it in my earphones as I strolled down the street, I played it in my
car, it was on repeat so much that I would catch my daughter who was 2 at the
time singing it to herself in the mirror.
That song was not just a song, it embodied my journey, my beauty and my
growth. I urge all of my naturalistas to
have a theme song, something that makes you feel good, get in the mirror, every
mirror you see and sing your heart out, feel the words, embrace your beauty,
love your journey. It starts with you
loving yourself, all else is irrelevant.
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